Comments on: Yours, Mine, and Ours: New Traditions for Stepfamilies http://blog.chinaberry.com/2008/12/yours-mine-and-ours-new-traditions-for-stepfamilies/ The Meeting Place for the Chinaberry Community Thu, 20 Jun 2013 08:43:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Ali at Chinaberry http://blog.chinaberry.com/2008/12/yours-mine-and-ours-new-traditions-for-stepfamilies/#comment-112 Ali at Chinaberry Tue, 23 Dec 2008 23:39:39 +0000 http://blog.chinaberry.com/?p=746#comment-112 <strong>Hi Jennifer!</strong> - Thanks for reading & commenting on our blog. What a pleasant surprise it is to hear from one of our Chinaberry authors. I'm really enjoying looking through your book! In your comment you give a great example of why we should take a second look at the traditions that have been handed down through the years. Some we may decide to keep, while others just won't suit our family anymore. As far as “traditional families” go, I think the majority of families these days are actually "non-traditional." Families of the 21st century are much more complex & often family members even live in different time zones, which can make planning for the holidays quite a chore. I'm a single mom of twin girls and one thing I've noticed is that sometimes the best new traditions come to us "by accident." It's like how some inventions came out of something not working in the way it was originally intended. The more flexible & spontaneous I am with our plans, the more apt we are to discover new places, events, recipes, activities, etc. that turn into family traditions. I’ve also given myself permission to be my imperfect, Non-Supermom self by being flexible with the date when we celebrate. If one of my kids appears a little “under the weather” or I’m simply too wiped out to enjoy something, then postponing the activity, or even canceling it, is usually better than trying to “force” the happiness. Just last night I had to cancel our plans to attend a holiday party because I just didn’t have it in me to be social—I was exhausted. Well, now the girls & I are off to partake in our family tradition of looking at holiday lights on houses in the area. Hi Jennifer! - Thanks for reading & commenting on our blog. What a pleasant surprise it is to hear from one of our Chinaberry authors. I’m really enjoying looking through your book!

In your comment you give a great example of why we should take a second look at the traditions that have been handed down through the years. Some we may decide to keep, while others just won’t suit our family anymore.

As far as “traditional families” go, I think the majority of families these days are actually “non-traditional.” Families of the 21st century are much more complex & often family members even live in different time zones, which can make planning for the holidays quite a chore.

I’m a single mom of twin girls and one thing I’ve noticed is that sometimes the best new traditions come to us “by accident.” It’s like how some inventions came out of something not working in the way it was originally intended. The more flexible & spontaneous I am with our plans, the more apt we are to discover new places, events, recipes, activities, etc. that turn into family traditions.

I’ve also given myself permission to be my imperfect, Non-Supermom self by being flexible with the date when we celebrate. If one of my kids appears a little “under the weather” or I’m simply too wiped out to enjoy something, then postponing the activity, or even canceling it, is usually better than trying to “force” the happiness. Just last night I had to cancel our plans to attend a holiday party because I just didn’t have it in me to be social—I was exhausted. Well, now the girls & I are off to partake in our family tradition of looking at holiday lights on houses in the area.

]]> By: Jennifer Trainer Thompson http://blog.chinaberry.com/2008/12/yours-mine-and-ours-new-traditions-for-stepfamilies/#comment-110 Jennifer Trainer Thompson Tue, 23 Dec 2008 12:48:04 +0000 http://blog.chinaberry.com/?p=746#comment-110 Thank you for posting this - the holidays can be so difficult for people with non-traditional families, and my #1 rule about traditions is to abolish those that no longer make sense. I'm reminded of the man who asked his wife why she cut off the end of the ham at Easter every year. "Because my mother did." So he asked his mother in law, who said, "because MY mother did." So the man went to the source -- the grandmother -- and asked her why she cut the end of the ham off at Easter every year. Simple: because it wouldn't fit in the pan. Get rid of traditions that don't work, and make new ones! Thank you for posting this - the holidays can be so difficult for people with non-traditional families, and my #1 rule about traditions is to abolish those that no longer make sense. I’m reminded of the man who asked his wife why she cut off the end of the ham at Easter every year. “Because my mother did.” So he asked his mother in law, who said, “because MY mother did.” So the man went to the source — the grandmother — and asked her why she cut the end of the ham off at Easter every year. Simple: because it wouldn’t fit in the pan. Get rid of traditions that don’t work, and make new ones!

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