Leave it to my dad to find enlightenment from a herd of one-track rabbits. Eons ago when he drove one of those open-car, hand-cranked railcars for the Milwaukee Railroad (Hello, Elmer Fudd?!), he said that rabbits would get on the track in front of him, and once they started running, they couldn’t seem to figure out that all they had to do was jump off the track to avoid their demise. I don’t know if my dad realized what a powerful life lesson he imparted with this story, but it’s about the best metaphor for life a dad could share with his daughter.

Just as life never pans out for rabbits running from trains, it doesn’t fare too well for us when we’ve got railcars of pettiness, negativity, and — well, you fill in the blanks — heading our way. I don’t know what motivates rabbits to continue in their folly, but I have an inkling of what compels us as people. Long before wheels and railcars were invented, group survival was where it was at, and I still fall prey to its siren song of ‘there’s safety in numbers’ as well as that strong desire to be ‘included’ and the fear to change.

In that sense, it takes a brave bunny to break away from the herd (especially when that herd is its family of origin!). But I’ve found life is so much sweeter when we take a daily look at the track we’re on, our traveling companions, and what we have stuffed in our brain’s baggage compartment. Over the years, I’ve learned that if it looks like a train, sounds like a train, and smells like a train, it’s my cue to take the nearest exit. There’s no need to hurl insults at the rabbits who choose to remain, or throw rotten eggs on the railcar, track, or conductor. Just get yourself off the track now. Refuse to spend one more minute of your precious life huffing and puffing in order to stay out of harm’s way. You’ll never out-run a moving locomotive, and it’s no fun trying.

Truly, life is too short to settle for being steamrollered by anyone or anything. It’s a new year. The next time someone in your life wants to engage in drama, trauma, or just plain petty meanness, choose to get off the track! You can do it. A beautiful world of unlimited possibilities awaits you. Wishing you all a Happy New Year and Happy Trails!

Recently I was on a flight with a self-professed high school ”nerd.” During our 2-hour flight, I told him the good news — that if he’s a nerd now, I can pretty much guarantee one day he’ll be living The Good Life if he can survive the next four years without dropping out — of school or life. School life, I told him, is not kind to nerds, but real life is, as 20-year high school reunions can attest to. The teen years can be such a brutal time in our children’s lives. They don’t have the life experience to know that this conform-to-the-herd-or-be-a-nerd time is so temporary in the grand scheme of things. They don’t yet understand that a whole new world awaits in the not-too-distant future — where the dweeb of the lunchroom can be the CEO of the boardroom and the mousy girl in hand-me-down clothes can win an Oscar one day.

The key is to help our children discover what it is they truly want to do, what makes their heart sing, and let that define them and motivate them rather than their peers’ opinions of their shoes or how they wear their hair. If we parents/mentors don’t create the space for our kids to be real and feel listened to, where else will they find it? If your 16-year-old’s heart’s desire is to draw cartoons, encourage it, celebrate it, allow him to  experience a sense of mastery in it, and explore possible career paths involving art even if your practical side is screaming.

My airplane buddy has a passion for World War II history and would love to work in a museum one day, but his mom is hoping he’ll become an ultrasound tech because they’re really in demand and make good money. If I could have coffee with his mom, I would first applaud her for raising a son who knows his bliss. If she said, ”Well, I don’t see how it’s going to put bread on the table!” I’d agree with her that it might not be easy, but then I hope I’d have enough gumption to tell her I hoped her son would find the courage and the means to live an authentic life. I might even share one of my favorite quotes by Howard Thurman: ”Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Since it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever meet this boy’s mom, I guess the next best thing is to write this to all the moms (and dads!) out there whose children are entering that stage where true passions and interests often take a backseat to their peers’ opinions, especially if their interests are not ‘cool.’ We can’t control what their peers say, but we can control what we say. The world may need more ultrasound techs, but my hope is that each of us looks for what makes our children come alive in the world and helps to nurture it. Wishing you all a beautiful spring full of hope and new life.

No matter how hard I try, the perfection I strive for seems to be just out of reach. As soon as the floors are mopped, a little tuft of dog hair inevitably appears in the corner. No matter how many hours of tender care I give my roses, the critters that forage in the yard at night leave nibbled petals and an occasional broken branch for me to find in the morning. Then, there are those personal life ‘experiences’ that burst the perfection bubble. Let me explain.

It was a picture perfect (nature can be perfect!), sunny afternoon, and my husband, our two sons, and I were at a high school graduation party for one of the nicest kids you could ever hope to meet. He and his beautiful mom (also one of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet) live in a gorgeous home on a hill with an absolutely stunning view. I felt pretty confident that I looked nearly perfect: my hair was up, my dress was cute, and everything about my outfit said ‘this woman has got it together.’ Little groups of people were scattered about, chatting and munching on the yummy food, enjoying the whole setting. As I was chatting and munching, a soft breeze came up and blew a couple of pieces of lettuce off of my plate. Being the conscientious guest that I am, I stepped back so that I could pick up the lettuce. Did I mention we were outside? So, I stepped back — and directly into the Jacuzzi. Way in, to the middle, completely submerged. When the need to breathe overpowered my feelings of utter humiliation, I surfaced and slowly opened my eyes to see a row of surprised faces and my oldest son sitting on the steps and holding his head in his hands in total mortification. As I retrieved the piece of pizza bobbing on the churning surface of the water, all I could do was laugh. My stunned husband helped me out of the water, the really nice kid brought me a big towel, and his even nicer mom asked what, if anything, she could do for me.

Well, there wasn’t anything she could do; it was up to me to own the moment. So, I wrapped the towel around my dripping dress, apologized to my embarrassed 18-year-old son, removed the clip from my hair and fluffed it a little so it could dry, accepted the new plate of food my darling husband brought me, and enjoyed the rest of the party. Did I still look nearly perfect? Not a chance. My hair was frizzy, my dress was a little wrinkled, although it was completely dry by the time we left, and my mascara had settled into dark smudges beneath my eyes.

So, as you are frantically cleaning, decorating, baking, and wrapping this holiday season, remember that the little mishaps in life make it interesting. Your friends and family are not coming to your home to check whether your cloth napkins are expertly pressed, or whether or not all the candles in the centerpiece are perfectly straight. They are coming to see you, to share your warmth and laughter, because they love you and want to be with you just as you want to share yourself with them. Relax and own the moment, imperfections and all. Who knows, you may just end up with a great story to share.

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“It’s true that children watch everything you do, so your actions are far more potent teachers than your words.”

-Scott Haltzman, MD, The Secrets of Happy Families

“Nina, give that back to me, RIGHT NOW!” orders my son in a commanding voice that seems frighteningly beyond his three years. Yikes… that sounds less than gracious, I think, as I tell him to ask his one-year-old sister more nicely.  My next thought is, “Wow, those words and intonation sound familiar.  Truly, too familiar…

Oops.

I’m a fairly new mom to two small children, who amaze me in so many ways each and every day.  My son, Jarratt, is quickly earning the nickname “Jarratt Parrot.”  Smart, observant, and a walking, talking sponge like most kids his age, he is becoming a mirror for me and my husband.  Sometimes, I don’t exactly love what I see…

So, there it is…the realization that to be a better mom, I need to be a better me.  My children are learning much more from what I do than what I say (rendering the saying “Do as I say, not as I do” somewhat laughable). If I want my children to considerately say “please” and “thank you” to each other, then I need to treat them and my husband with the same level of respect and politeness.  In fact, I need to be authentic in all aspects of my parenting and consistently model the lessons I want our children to learn.

I’ve decided to give this some serious thought now, before they’re older and I find myself trying to fix less-than-desirable learned behaviors.  To remind myself of this new me, I’m making a list.  This is what I have thus far…

• Don’t yell, and speak politely at all times. It’s not like I go around yelling at everyone, but you know how families can be. At least, my family…
• Don’t cry over spilled milk. Of course, three-year-olds do this anyway, but he doesn’t need me to model it for him.
• Stand up straight. Dad, I hope you can see me from heaven, since you tried for so many years to get me to stand more erectly. It never really took then, but now, do I really want my daughter to slouch?
• Introduce myself to new people. I’ve always been on the shy side, but since Jarratt was born, I have new motivation to get out there and build our community around us, while showing my children how easy it can be to make friends.
• Exercise. I LOVE practicing yoga, but, sadly, it’s easy to let days and weeks go by without unrolling my mat. I’m a mother, after all! I’m busy with a zillion other things. Then again, with our couch-potato, video-obsessed, overweight culture, what’s more important as a mom than to model healthy behavior??

Of course, I’m doing SOME things right.  It’s important to give myself credit. (I wouldn’t want my kids to learn to beat up on themselves.) I’m neat and clean.  I eat healthful foods, though I won’t mention how much.  I’m respectful to others and a good friend to many. I recycle.  I watch very little TV and I read to my kids every day.  You don’t need me to go on and on here, but you see that it’s not all bad.

The point is that I’m sure we all have our self-improvement lists and they will all differ, but parenthood does seem like the perfect time to strive to get a few things together.

No one’s perfect of course, but if a little parrot in your home makes you cringe with a bit of shame on occasion, it may be time for some new lines.

After nine long months of dreaming, planning, building, and decorating, we’re finally ready to announce our big news: Chinaberry had twins!

Meet Jake & Ella, the newest addition to the Chinaberry family. Created by the original Chinaberry kids, Elizabeth and Evan (some of you may remember them from our earlier catalogs way back when), Jake & Ella brings our mission of raising children with love, honesty, and joy to a new generation of discerning parents.

When Chinaberry launched its first catalog almost (gasp!) 30 years ago, our message and values attracted a community of people who were decidedly noncomformist. From vegans to homeschoolers, homesteaders to tree-huggers, our customers back then didn’t exactly swim with the mainstream. But over the years, as “Chinaberry babies” started having babies of their own, we have happily witnessed a slow but meaningful culture shift among parents. “Tree-hugger” is a badge to be worn proudly, and urban-dwellers are planting their own backyard organic farms. “Unschool” play groups are popping up across the country, and everyone seems to be talking about making healthier, more conscious food and lifestyle choices. It would seem, Chinaberry parents, that we’ve all done something right after all.

Now, catering specifically to those with babies and toddlers in their lives, Jake & Ella offers distinctive, sustainable toys, wellness products, and resources for nurturing creative, compassionate children. With a focus on environmental and social responsibility, Jake & Ella draws on three decades of Chinaberry’s experience to help the new generation of parents make natural, conscientious choices for their littlest ones.

Beyond its online boutique, Jake & Ella’s blog and social networks are building a community of unconventional and thoughtful parents, ones who wish to give their children the knowledge and inspiration to make the world a healthier, more wholesome place for all of us. From the latest news in environmental health to alternative thinking on child development, Jake & Ella’s online communities cover topics often ignored by the mainstream but essential in navigating the increasingly complicated business of raising a healthy family today.

Celebrate with us! Stop by our store, peruse our blog, connect with us on Facebook for interesting news bites, special offers, enticing contests, and banter with like-minded people. And if you like what you find, please let your friends know! Now through July 31, 2010, we’re offering a special deal for our Chinaberry family: Spend $50 or more at Jake & Ella and get $10 off your order. Just enter the code CBFAMILY during checkout to receive your discount!

We know you’ll be as smitten with our exciting new bundle of joy as we are…

AOL News released an article today saying that many sunscreens may actually be accelerating cancer. Chinaberry Inc. couldn’t agree more. For over a decade, our company has been researching safe and effective sunscreens for our two catalogs, Chinaberry.com and IsabellaCatalog.com. We were on the anti-oxybenzone, retinol, and paraben bandwagon when just about every sunscreen label included these ingredients.

A few years ago, when more and more companies began using nanosized titanium dioxide without having to disclose it, Chinaberry decided it was time to oversee the production of our own private label sunscreen, Perfect for the Sol. Janet Kelly, a licensed esthetician working for Chinaberry, says, “It had gotten to the point where even once-reliable vendors were utilizing nanotechnology to help their sunscreens appear more like the mainstream chemical sunscreens people were accustomed to. The problem with that is we haven’t even begun to understand the serious health implications related to nanotechnology. To be on the safe side, we developed our own natural sunscreen that is guaranteed to be free of synthetics, retinols, and nanotechnology. We feel it’s the best natural sunscreen available.” So if you’re ready to throw in the beach towel, along with your sunscreen, after reading the latest research on the dangers lurking in your tube of sun protection, know there IS a safe and effective alternative.

Years of research went into creating Chinaberry’s Perfect for the Sol. Its SPF 25 offers full-spectrum protection against UVA and UVB rays, it’s biodegradable, and it’s great for both your face and body. It’s not too greasy, doesn’t appear chalky-white, and the very subtle smell of essential oils of vanilla and lavender makes it perfect for men, women, and children. In addition to the active ingredients of titanium dioxide and zinc oxide, it includes an abundance of anti-aging and moisturizing ingredients such as rose hips oil, green tea, and shea butter (all organic). While it is water-resistant, it is not waterproof because it doesn’t contain petroleum (that’s a good thing!).

To read more or to place an order, go to the Perfect for the Sol page on the Chinaberry website.

To contact us with any questions or concerns please email Janet Kelly at PublicRelations@Chinaberry.net.

A couple of summers ago, I was lucky enough to spend a week traveling through Mexico. After seven days of touring the beautiful countryside either by bus or friends’ cars, it was time to board my plane and return home.

Now, I’m far from being the worst flier, but I’d be lying if I said the whole enterprise doesn’t make me nervous. However, as long as the flight runs relatively smoothly and I can nap or immerse myself in a book, everything is fine.

This wasn’t one of those times.

There I sat with my fellow passengers on the tarmac in Guadalajara, waiting for the sudden summer storm to clear. Sitting next to me was a young married couple, with their one-year-old daughter in her mother’s lap. So the baby and I killed some time making faces at each other. She eventually dozed off, but by then we were heading down the runway.

The plane was not in the air long before it was wracked with turbulence. The ‘Fasten Seatbelt’ sign remained emphatically alight as the plane bounced and shuddered. As I’m sure you can imagine, I was less than thrilled. My knuckles were white from gripping the armrests. My chest was tight as a drum, pulled ever tighter with each dip and rise. I closed my eyes and tried to think of happier vistas, but succeeded only in letting my imagination run away with me.

Then a funny thing happened. The infant next to me, fast asleep and sawing toothpicks, shifted in her sleep and her hand fell onto my arm. And as silly as it may sound, the warmth of that human touch, unsolicited and innocent of any intention, melted all the fear and panic out of me. I didn’t simply wipe my brow, lie back, and enjoy the ride. But I did release my death grip on my armrests and felt I could breathe again, as if the iron bands around my lungs had been dissolved. Of course the turbulence passed, the plane landed safely, and all ended well.

When turbulence heads our way in our daily rigors and tasks, it’s comforting to know that whenever things get to be too much and we feel that tell-tale panic and tension, we often need only to look to the children. Their unbridled joy and engaging innocence serve as steadfast reminders of all that is good in this world. And reciprocally, I think I speak for all of us here at Chinaberry in saying we hope that in some small way we’re helping children weather some of the turbulences of life.

”I think it’s time,” my friend Kathleen said as she looked at the wilted tangle of vines hanging from the basket on my patio. Last summer, they were a lush tumble of bright blue morning glories. The thought of now chucking the whole shebang into the compost bin felt a little harsh to me. After all, I had known these vines from the time they were little seeds in a packet!

I know I’m not alone in sometimes hanging on to things that no longer add any value to my life. Some of us stay in relationships way past their shelf life, others stubbornly refuse to lose the spare tire ’round our middle, and others fiercely hold on to our big hair like it’s 1987. Instead of making way for the new, we rationalize our resistance with all kinds of excuses: ”If I lose weight, I won’t be able to wear all my beautiful clothes.” ”If I rip out these dead vines, I will admit defeat as a gardener. (Besides, it’s not like the whole plant is dead. Every morning, there’s one blossom that looks great.)” But for someone who has always followed William Morris’ words ”Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful,” since when is 99.9% dead a keeper for me?

Mother Nature’s got it down with spring. There are no stuck places in Nature. Everything runs its natural course, so there’s a beautiful flow that ultimately results in new life, new beauty. But what do we do? We hold on, even when what we have is 99% ugly. We hold on to our pain, anger, and resentment, and we wonder why we experience headaches, depression, and possibly even cancer?

We need to welcome spring into our beings. As Kathleen says, ”I think it’s time.” Let’s ask ourselves what it’s time to let go of. Spring is the perfect time to say goodbye to everything from that volunteer job that no longer brings joy to that 4-year-old jar of capers left over from the company picnic.

My hanging basket is once again an object of joy and beauty, this time with orange nasturtiums and blue and white allysum. I don’t miss the 1% of beauty my one lone morning glory blossom brought me. My basket reminds me of the importance of letting go and clearing space for the new. And if I feel this good after replanting a hanging basket, cleaning out my bedroom closet could very well catapult me into nirvana. Wishing you all a springtime of release and renewal!