One-Day Tuesday Mystery Item - Only $2.97, Was $14.95. Click http://www.chinaberry.com to see today’s specially-discounted item. Today (9/13/11) Only. Price goes back up tomorrow (9/14/11). Limit one per customer. Shop Now!
Posts Tagged ‘family’
One-Day Tuesday Mystery Item - Only $4.97, Was $21.95. Click http://www.chinaberry.com to see today’s specially-discounted item. Today (8/9/11) Only. Price goes back up tomorrow (8/10/11). Limit one per customer. Shop Now!
One-Day Tuesday Mystery Item - Only $2.97, Was $12.95.
Click http://www.chinaberry.com to see today’s specially-discounted item.
Today (5/17/11) Only. Price goes back up tomorrow (5/18/11).
Limit one per customer.
It happens to the best of us. While we’re busy living, life just about passes us by. Never is this more apparent than with our children. We have our babies, and then in that veritable blink of an eye, they’re crawling, walking, and talking. Our little ones amaze us with each new milestone that seemed impossible just a month ago. Before we know it, they’re in kindergarten, with circle time, ABCs, and even reading. Another blink of an eye, and they’ve finished elementary school and are well into middle school, learning more facts, making new friends, playing sports, having fun. In short, living their lives.
I bring this up because the latest hurdle we’re facing is high school. My voice still quavers a bit when I tell people my oldest son is now in high school. Gone are the days when I could sit in the back of the classroom and help staple some construction paper together, read with a group of kids, or help others with their multiplication tables, while keeping half an eye on my son. Sure, if there’s a clean-up day or a call for some kind of assistance at the high school, I help when I can. But those days of hanging out in the classroom are gone.
While a part of me grieves this loss, another part is starting to accept the inevitable change. Not too long ago, I was reminded of our true role as parents by some gentle neighbors whose kids are now adults. John said it so eloquently and it rings true for me during these days that seem to be just flying by: Our job is to set our kids free, like a mother bird nudges her young from the nest, ready to fly. Whether we are ready for it or not, they are ready.
So these days, when I’m thinking about which college might be the best fit rather than which art project students could make for a teacher present, I remember these wise words. Hugging my now-towering sons and saying ‘I love you’ more often also seems to help me appreciate the time we have. Like it or not, they will be on their way sooner than I may want, but for now I will try to savor each day we have together. As summer unfolds, I hope you enjoy some special times with your children, knowing that soon enough they will be on their way.
The following is from an email that Tammy B. sent to her Chinaberry coworkers on 06/22/10. She also wanted to share it with the larger Chinaberry community. We are so happy to have Tammy back at work. We sure missed her when she wasn’t here.
It amazes me sometimes the level of love that exudes from my coworkers at Chinaberry.
Some background information for those of you that may not know… I have worked here for 15 years and in October 2009, I was diagnosed with a pre-cancer condition and was told that I had one week to prepare for surgery and an absence from work that would last for 6 to 8 weeks. That surgery led to a diagnosis of a rare cancer and yet another surgery that would continue my disability for another 6 weeks and that surgery led to radiation and chemotherapy. All in all, I was out of work for 5 months. It was exhausting and horribly painful… not just the medical procedures but being away from my Chinaberry family for so long.
Since my extended family lives about two hours away, they could not offer the daily support I needed after my surgery. During my absence, many of my coworkers brought dinners for me and donated their vacation hours so that I could maintain my financial stability while receiving disability pay. It was above and beyond anything I could have imagined.
My mom was so impressed by the love and support that she has offered… actually insisted… to provide a special lunch for the entire company.
She wishes to express her love for Chinaberry and wants everyone to know how much she appreciates Chinaberry and what we stand for.
Recently a friend was telling me about some “interesting” choices her grown daughter had made. Instead of a “WHAT was she thinking???!” judgment fest, our conversation took a 360-degree turn when this grace and wisdom came from my friend’s lips: “Oh, well; it’s her story!”
As a seasoned parent, this concept was not new to me, yet I felt a renewed sense of clarity when my friend worded it this way. I first experienced this revelation 18 years ago when my daughter Kathryn was born with profound disabilities. I wondered if I would ever get over the grief, but Kathryn’s father pointed out that I was not disabled. Without underestimating the role of parenthood, he reminded me that I still had my own life — separate from our daughter’s.
When our babies depend upon us for their very survival, the thought of them as separate entities is so difficult to grasp. We may even have visions of them growing up to be little extensions of ourselves. And who hasn’t at one time or another felt that ego-driven delight when our child appears to be a “chip off the old block”? The truth remains, however, that each child comes into the world the author of his or her own story, separate from us.
When my older daughter, Ann, who is now a mother herself, recently told me about one of her “interesting” choices, prefacing her announcement with, “Mom, tomorrow I’m doing something you’re not going to be happy with,” do you think I thought, “Oh well; it’s her story”? Ha! Within seconds, I was spewing out the “Mark my words, Ann . . .” spiel. Sigh.
I flash back to when I was a young mom, and we’d spend summer vacations with the girls’ great grandmother. This woman was a pediatric nurse in the 1920s, so you can imagine some of our conversations: “You’re going to SPOIL her if you’re always holding her!” “You’re only feeding her breast milk? Rice cereal is what she needs!”
Maybe George Orwell was right when he said, “Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.” But how does this benefit us really? As mothers, must we continue to pass on this torch of “My way or the highway”? Is being “right” worth the toll it takes on our relationships?
This summer, whether you’re a mother or a daughter, a father or a son (or combination thereof!), let’s not be so quick to point fingers of judgment at each other. The next time we feel ourselves bristling with those “How could she?!” feelings, let’s replace them with the realization that “It’s her story” as we do our best to live our own with grace, wisdom, and gratitude for family.
by Kahil Gibran
“They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls.”
Recently, while cleaning someone else’s bathroom floor, I thought to myself, ”My mother would have had a fit.” Although the middle of the floor had been kept clean, the sides, corners, and behind the door hadn’t been cleaned in years. I was taken back to my teens, with my mother telling me how important it was to clean thoroughly, and me arguing back, ”Who cares; no one ever sees it anyway?” She was teaching me the right way to clean, and as a teen, I was arguing for the easy way. Now, years later, I was witnessing what happens when you don’t know how to clean properly. Not only had I never thanked my mother for teaching me this valuable skill, I had argued with her about it.
My mother passed away before I owned a house, was married, or had children. While she was alive, I was in frequent touch and told her how much I loved her, but while cleaning this bathroom floor, I realized she gave me so many gifts I had never really thought about — gifts I use or benefit from to this day. So, I would like to take this opportunity to thank my mother for all the gifts I didn’t know were gifts:
• Teaching us that a clean house is important, but family time was more important.
• Showing us that people were more important than things. No matter what broke, spilled or went wrong, you always asked ”Are you ok?” before you asked about the things.
• Having us work beside you until we could do the job right by ourselves.
• Making us clean the kitchen and stay there until everyone was finished. At the time, I thought you were just trying to make sure the whole job was done and no one said, ”That’s not my job.” Now I realize you were also creating bonds between us siblings.
• Making us go to our siblings’ activities. This increased our circle of support and helped keep us out of trouble.
• Teaching us to be polite to older or lonely people — sometimes that is the only chance they get to communicate all day.
• Being there to listen when we needed someone to listen (I doubt anyone realizes what a gift this is until their mother is gone), and listening to us with your full attention — not only to us but to our friends as well.
• Believing in me. To this day, I think of you when I am having challenges.
• Teaching me how to iron, stand up straight, and swim.
• Enjoying my company and biting your tongue when I came up with my grand philosophical ideas.
• Letting me learn and accepting that Chemistry was as hard for me as Spanish was for you.
• Showing me that even after failures or problems, we can pick ourselves up and go on with life.
As we approach this Mother’s Day, I hope we can all take the time to think about the intangibles gifts from our mothers and the other important women in our lives.
My younger son is now of driving age, and I hesitantly let this inexperienced, newly permitted driver take the wheel on a recent weekend get-away. We left at rush hour, because why wouldn’t you want your 15-year-old kid to have his first freeway experience at the busiest time of the day with the sun setting directly behind him so he can’t really see if the brake lights ahead of him are on or not!
After nearly putting my foot through the floor a few times, I forced my shoulders back down to a normal position and settled in for the ride. I did my best to give directions with plenty of notice so there were no last-minute lane changes, and gently suggest slowing down ahead of time rather than waiting until there were only inches to spare between us and the next car. As the busy city freeway gave way to the less traveled rural roads, I was struck by how the changing landscape mirrored the changing stages of life with my children.
As a new parent, I often felt frazzled, with never enough time to get everything done and never feeling sure I was doing things ‘right.’ Then, without my realizing it, the ‘rush hour’ days eased into a little slower pace. The elementary school years were filled with wonderful discoveries and hours spent together. As we passed through the countryside with its softly rolling hills, we started to climb to higher elevations much like the challenges of middle school. Projects became more difficult, friends came and went, and like our ride, first there was a gentle slope, a dip into a small valley, another slope, and then the tumultuous teen years, full of steep inclines, sharply twisting roads, and the uncertainty of what might be waiting around the next corner.
Finally, we reached the summit and began to descend through the now rocky landscape, just as my boys have turned into young men with deep voices trying to find their own place in the world. Now, as I sit up late at night waiting for them to come home, or have a ‘discussion’ on why it is so important to do their very best in whatever they attempt, whether it seems completely irrelevant to them or not, I think about that trip. The rough, unforgiving landscape gave way to the vast, open desert, the infinite vistas filled with the same promise of adventure and discovery my boys have waiting for them in the future. And just as my baby boy did fine on that drive (we arrived with all our parts intact), I am reminded that my boys, too, will do fine no matter where life takes them. I can’t control it all; I can only offer my voice of experience when needed or wanted and sit back and enjoy the ride.
Chinaberry offers items to support families in raising their children with love, honesty and joy to be reverent, loving caretakers of each other and the earth.
Interview with Susan Magasamen, author of The 10 Best of Everything
When I read Susan Magasamen’s book The 10 Best of Everything, I found myself lusting after her job a little. Just as we at Chinaberry scour the nation for books and other treasures to enrich people’s lives, this woman has made it her mission to find destinations for families. While we’re searching for life-changing stuff, Susan’s out and about “testing” ice cream shops and campgrounds! (Sigh . . .) We just had to find out more about this woman and her amazing job, so we’d like to introduce to you Susan Magasamen!
Janet: What words of advice would you like to share with our readers for having the best family vacation of their lives?
Susan: Incorporate everyone into the planning! This will make the trip something adults and kids are interested in and are looking forward to! If you can start the planning early enough, it is great to introduce films, books, art, music and other aspects of the culture prior to the visit. We also find that after the trip there is always a heightened interest in a new topic. For example, we just came back from a trip to Vienna and discovered our kids had a real interest in opera. We are now renting operas!
Another tip is to allow for the unexpected and change your plans! No matter how much reading and research you do on a place, it is never the same as being there and experiencing it firsthand. That is really the wonder of travel…the unexpected and the expected exceeding your expectations.
Janet: As I read your book, I wanted to dog-ear every page because all of your incredible “finds.” I especially loved reading about the “best road trips.” If you could only go on ONE of these road trips this summer, which one would you choose and why?
Susan: As you know, this book is a compilation of other people’s experiences!!! We have families sharing their favorite places in California, another exploring Boston, or a folklorist talking about Philadelphia. The “best road trips” are amazing and I would like to do all of them. Hmmm, right now I think I would like to take my family to The Ultimate Florida Keys Vacation. This is the trip from Deb Kirkland and her two boys. They planned an adventure-packed, nature-filled week, from hand-feeding the rays to an alligator show.
Janet: Out of all your experiences, from checking out wilderness hikes to resorts in the Key West, which was the most memorable for you personally?
Susan: Throughout the book we share travel stories of famous folks — from scientists and artists to poets and explorers. I loved hearing about the places and experiences that helped shape their lives. This was very inspiring to me and reminded me that as a parent you have an opportunity to expose your children to what they might become in their lives. Elizabeth Spires’ visits to authors’ homes was very moving to me. As a writer, I relate to the way she got to understand the writers by seeing where they wrote. Often we don’t get the biography or background of things. When you have the opportunity to see where someone wrote something, what inspired them, what their life circumstances were, it helps to understand yourself, the world and perhaps even your place in it a little bit more.
Janet: During the course of putting together this book, what surprised you the most?
Susan: How much people love ice cream! And also how important time spent together is for families. As we travel, visit and see new things together, we create memories that last a lifetime. I come from a family of five girls. Whenever we get together we still talk about some of the crazy trips we have taken. I remember once my sister and I took our young children to Colorado to what we thought was a dude ranch. It ended up being a disaster of a place. So our husbands and kids all banded together and we went on a road trip all the way to New Mexico. We had the time of our lives! Again, expect the unexpected.
Janet: What’s the biggest mistake you feel parents make when planning family vacations?
Susan: Overbooking and pushing kids to “learn.” When your kids are engaged, interested and active, they will have a great time.
Janet: What is #1 on your Wish List right now for your next vacation?
Susan: We want to see the Northern Lights! We’re thinking about going to Norway to do that. Interestingly, this has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl. At supper one night I said I really wanted to do this, not thinking anyone else would be interested. As it turned out everyone was! We’ve all done our homework now and have found a really cool website that reports on the Lights like a weather report!
Janet: Is there anything else that you’d like to share with our readers?
Susan: The biggest and best piece of advice I can give is to take naps! Usually when kids are bored they are tired. If you can take a rest, eat a great snack, and get something to drink, you can get back in the groove.