Creating a Daily Rhythm and Routine

When creating a rhythm for your days, think of this rhythm as if it were a rubber band. The rhythm is there as a pattern to hold something in place, to add stability to your day. Yet it’s a pattern quite capable of stretching, of being flexible to meet the needs at hand. Like a rubber band, our daily rhythm can only be stretched so far before it loses its structural integrity and everything falls apart. So, nurture a rhythm that allows for both stability and ease. Stability provides the boundaries that small children need to feel safe. Stability creates a comforting sense of predictability, of knowing that naptime always follows lunchtime. A rhythm with general predictability deeply reassures a child’s soul that all is well. At the same time, we must avoid the trap of being too rigid by creating a rhythm that allows for ease. A rhythm that is gently flexible makes room for the unpredictable and helps children learn to be adaptable. Flexibility encourages a comfort with life that allows people to flow from one experience to the next, even when things don’t go exactly as planned, which, in these radically changing times, is a highly useful trait.

• Be sure to get enough rest. It is so easy to stay up late after the
children are in bed to have a few precious hours of solitude. But if
this time comes at the expense of your sleep, you and your family
will eventually pay a high price for these few hours.

• If mornings are hard for you, make sure you get up before your
children. Allow yourself a few minutes to adjust to the day before
you are inundated by your children’s needs. Have time to take your
shower, or drink your morning cup of coffee. Do whatever you need
to do to say “Good morning” to yourself. Once you’ve greeted the day, it is much easier to face the unbounded enthusiasm of a cheery toddler first thing in the morning.

• If your children nap, take that time purely for yourself. Parents need
downtime, too. Read a book, take a nap, do something creative—
anything to nourish yourself. Don’t feel as if you have to make that
the most productive hour of the day. Think of this time as your time
to renew your batteries, not as the hour to get everything done
that hasn’t been done all day.

• Eat regular meals. It is so easy to ignore your own needs. When
things get hectic or children become overwrought, it can be a challenge
to remember to feed yourself. Even if it is just a five-minute
break to eat a peanut butter sandwich and drink a glass of milk, sit
down. Show your children how to take care of themselves by taking
care of yourself.

• Remember to drink plenty of water (not Coke, not coffee—but
water). It’s amazing how much energy proper hydration provides.
To figure out how much water you require, divide your weight in
pounds by two and drink that number in ounces of water. So if you
weigh 140 pounds, you need 70 ounces of water, or just about nine
eight-ounce glasses. If that sounds like a lot, you probably aren’t
drinking enough. Try it for a couple of weeks and see how you feel.
You might be surprised. (more…)

I no longer remember how I came up with the idea to create Cindy Johnson. But it is with great joy that I now share my most favorite (and effective) parenting tool for toddlers and preschoolers. As you well know, this age group can exhibit some pretty disconcerting behavior at times. For me, the invention of Cindy Johnson dissipated everything from the ugliest of department store debacles to nerve-racking back seat conniptions.

When my daughter Ann was nearly 3, I made a 7-1/2-inch paper doll that looked just like her. (Well, as much like her as any non-drawing mom could be expected to draw.) Although I didn’t know a “Cindy” or a “Johnson,” I named my creation “Cindy Johnson.” On one side, she had a smile on her face, and on the flip side, she had a frown. I used clear Contac paper to “laminate” Cindy, which, after 21 years, has preserved her appearance better than Vitamin E has preserved mine.

I never left home without Cindy Johnson. Her permanent residence was in my purse, so I could whip her out at a moment’s notice, no matter where we were. Whenever my daughter’s attitude rivaled that of a Pekingese without food, I knew it was the perfect time for Cindy Johnson to make her appearance. “Ann,” I would say, “I feel like a Cindy Johnson story right now, but I need you to be quiet so I can tell it.” Neither “time-outs” nor threats of logical consequences could bring about quiet in such record time. Because I tell impromptu stories about as well as I draw, I marvel to this day that my daughter was so engaged by these simple stories that generally all followed the same basic outline: 1) Cindy Johnson and her mom would be having a pleasant time together (smiling face). 2) A conflict would arise. 3) Cindy would be very, very angry because she didn’t get her way (frowning face). (more…)